There are very seldom times when I have the chance to just sit back and remember. I remember back to a few years ago. I remember smiling and loving and hoping. I remember being scared and being sad and being angry. I remember wanting everything to be perfect.
...and it was.
I remember sitting around the wood stove , all bundled up from the chill of the winter, with Christina and Lauren while mom and dad were at a Christmas party. I remember talking to Christina for hours that night while Lauren's constant sleeping breath reminded me that everything was okay.
I remember listening to the front door close late at night and sitting up in my bed waiting for Christina to come up the stairs, looking for comfort. I remember listening for as long as she needed, and sometimes just holding her while she cried.
I remember Lauren understanding everything that i ever tried to explain to her. And I know that sometimes she had no idea what i was talking about, but she sure did make me believe that she did. I remember sitting up in my bed, waiting for her to walk up the stairs so that she could hold me while I cried.
I remember driving with them and feeling so special because they were mine. and everyone knew it. and everyone wanted it... but I had it. We had it.
We've always had something special and I will NEVER again take that for granted.
I remember waiting for them to come home every night. and they did... every night.
I remember dancing in Lauren's room and taking ridiculous pictures, subconsciously knowing that there was a very limited time that we would be able to do this together. But we rarely talked about it. Change is hard, and there is no reason to dwell on the sadness. We took advantage of every moment together. And we still do.
But the moments are much more separated by time...
The laughs are rare in life, but very abundant in my mind.
The love is always there, but I miss it.
I miss the feeling of home and the comfort of my sisters.
I guess that I am starting to accept the change, but still... I would give anything to go back to that life in Pepperell three years ago.
Change is hard. Life is hard.
I miss my sisters.
...and it was.
I remember sitting around the wood stove , all bundled up from the chill of the winter, with Christina and Lauren while mom and dad were at a Christmas party. I remember talking to Christina for hours that night while Lauren's constant sleeping breath reminded me that everything was okay.
I remember listening to the front door close late at night and sitting up in my bed waiting for Christina to come up the stairs, looking for comfort. I remember listening for as long as she needed, and sometimes just holding her while she cried.
I remember Lauren understanding everything that i ever tried to explain to her. And I know that sometimes she had no idea what i was talking about, but she sure did make me believe that she did. I remember sitting up in my bed, waiting for her to walk up the stairs so that she could hold me while I cried.
I remember driving with them and feeling so special because they were mine. and everyone knew it. and everyone wanted it... but I had it. We had it.
We've always had something special and I will NEVER again take that for granted.
I remember waiting for them to come home every night. and they did... every night.
I remember dancing in Lauren's room and taking ridiculous pictures, subconsciously knowing that there was a very limited time that we would be able to do this together. But we rarely talked about it. Change is hard, and there is no reason to dwell on the sadness. We took advantage of every moment together. And we still do.
But the moments are much more separated by time...
The laughs are rare in life, but very abundant in my mind.
The love is always there, but I miss it.
I miss the feeling of home and the comfort of my sisters.
I guess that I am starting to accept the change, but still... I would give anything to go back to that life in Pepperell three years ago.
Change is hard. Life is hard.
I miss my sisters.
2 Comments:
Change is hard.
Life is challenging but it is what you make of it.
Your sisters miss you too but they're always there.
Love,
Dad
Excuse me! *ahem* "and everyone knew it. and everyone wanted it... but I had it. We had it." HAVE it, Featherhead. I'd like to apply the present tense to that.
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