You said that your love would never crumble. And that you finally found the heaven you were looking for. The girl in your dreams was in reach at last, and you couldn't stand the suspense. But the chase is half the fun, right? The game show just makes everything more interesting.
This is high school; drama is a must.

We used to talk a lot.
Conversations about life and love and destiny.
Conversations about me.
You would shower me in compliments and I would blush and give you a simple "thank you."
We would stay up late online telling each other random things that the other didn't know about ourselves.
It was fun; we were friends. Good friends.

I could talk to you about anything and I knew that you truly cared.
I really did appreciate our friendship more than you probably even realized.

We used to fight sometimes, but it was all in good fun.
One of us would over-react and the other would say calm down.
It always ended with apologies and kind words.

You said some of the nicest things that anyone has ever said to me. I would go to bed with a smile on my face knowing that you were probably thinking about me, but I was ashamed because I simply could not return the feelings. There were so many times when I wished that I could have felt the same, but I couldn't. So instead, I promised myself that we would remain great friends. Because it's not everyday that someone like you comes along.

You made me smile so many times that it never even crossed my mind that you would ever say anything to hurt me. I think you even told me that once... That you hoped to never cause me pain. And I probably assured you that you wouldn't because I'm not easily hurt. Which is true; I'm not.
And I was completely and utterly convinced that you would never say anything that would make me cry because I hardly ever cry.

But then last night rolled around.

We talked online as usual and you told me about your new dog that you had told me about three times before. But I just laughed because you're funny.

And then our conversation took a turn for the worse. I managed to keep my cool and just keep asking you to tell me what I wanted to know before I told you what you thought you already knew.
I thought I was being fair-- like an exchange. You tell me and then I'll explain. But you obviously didn't agree with that idea.

You yelled.

Not only did you yell, but you swore... at me.
You had done that once before and when you did, I got mad and you told me that you wouldn't do it again.
Apparently you forgot.

Now, not only did you yell and swear last night, but you also said something so incredibly painful. I don't think you even realized how sharp those words were and how deep they would cut. If you did realize that, then I know you wouldn't have said it because you just aren't that harsh.
I know you better then that.

But these four words were cold. Harsh words that cut straight to my heart.

You said those four words and left, leaving me with nothing.

I knew you wouldn't be back anytime soon, so I picked up the phone book. There was a list of about nine people with your last name.
"This could take a while," I thought to myself, but I was prepared to call each and every one of those numbers to reach you.
Mind you, I never call people and I'm not a very big fan of the phone.

So, I looked through the names and tried to figure out which might be your parents names.
I took a shot in the dark and reached a light. To my surprise, the first number I called was your house.
Apparently you were busy, so I left a message for you to call me back.

You never did.

About five minutes after I got off the phone, my mom called. She must have sensed something in my voice because she asked me what was wrong. Tears filled my eyes and I didn't know what to say. All I came up with was, "Nothing, I'm fine." and I wiped the tears away telling myself that I was being dumb.
I never cry... well, almost never.

But you managed to make it happen.
Congratulations. I bet you didn't know that you were going to achieve that much last night, huh? Well, you did.



So... maybe I'm not worth it.
Whatever the "it" may be that you were referring to.

But for now, I just want you to know that words hurt.



*And I guess I'll just talk to you whenever the next time is that we happen to talk.*