I'm afraid.

Afraid of what you'll say.
Afraid of what I'll find out.
I've never been this afraid for you before. Never in my entire life.
And I have known you for my entire life.
My whole life.

The more I think about it, the more worried I become.
Any normal person would just tell me to stop thinking about it then.
But you see... that is just not possible right now.
You mean so much to me.
More then you even know.
So much more then I show.
Of course, I'm not saying I will loose you by any means.
I do thank God everyday that I have you.
And I do think about you all the time... more now then ever.
But I'm scared.

I know you.
Better then anyone does....
Better then I even know myself maybe.
And you know me... definintely better then I know myself.
But you know what? I love that.
I love the fact that you know me so well.
If I'm ever confused about anything , and as you know... I am quite frequently, you are always there to help me figure things out or to give me a slap in the face and bring me back to reality.
I count on you for that now.
And you've never let me down.
I can count on you.
And, well, I do.

And no matter what, I know that you will always be there, and I know that I will always count on you.

But I'm still scared.
I'm still worried.

Hell, I'm terrified.

Now, I know that I'm blowing this completely out of proportion. Don't worry, I know.
But for now, you should know what I feel about everything.
I obviously think I know what "it" is.
But I'm probably dead wrong.
Maybe not.
We'll see.
For now, I just want you to know that I love you so very much.




...and I'll talk to you this weekend.




*For anyone else reading this, don't worry about me. I'm perfectly fine. I'm afraid for someone else. Fear is not a big deal. Fear is beatable. It's not me you need to worry about. Just leave it alone.*