Yesterday afternoon I fell asleep in my bed curled up in the fetal position, feeling like I didn't even know who I was. I felt dirty and contagious. My mind was racing and I couldn't make it stop.
Finally I slept, but woke up to my alarm 25 minutes later feeling confused and disoriented. I think I just had a bad dream. But I hadn't been asleep for long enough to dream, so that "bad dream" was reality. All I wanted to do was go back to sleep so that what felt like bad dreams, really were.
I didn't know how to hide what I was feeling. I was crawling out of my skin with no one to talk to about it.

"Everything is okay.

I don’t want to talk about it, but everything
is okay."

That was the only explanation I could come up with.
I felt so exposed. Like everyone was automatically going to know exactly what was going on in my thoughts.
I tried to get my head in the game and eventually did. As soon as that game ended though, it was like waking up again-- back to reality.
"I wish that game lasted forever."-- That way, I wouldn't have to deal with anything except who to set the ball to and when to tip. I'm good at that. I'm no good at real life and bad decisions.

Be careful-- life is a crazy thing and no matter how angry you want to be, sometimes there is just no one to blame.