You know that feeling in your stomach where you have no idea what you're feeling?
You're confused, angry, sad, hopeful, jealous...

Jealousy.

I would have to say that jealousy is the worst feeling in the whole world.
Not ONE of the worst feelings. Its the worst.

Now, many of you may say that I have no reason to be jealous of anyone or anything. And I hate to tell you, but those of you that say/think that are dead wrong.
Everyone has a right, and usually a reason to be jealous. Some people just have an amazing talent of looking past that. I do not possess that talent. At all.

I am a very happy person. I know that I'm incredibly lucky to have the life that I do.
I'm happy with almost everything in my life right now. There are many things that I could work on to make better, but nothing is really THAT bad.

But if I had to choose something that I could not STAND about myself, it would be the fact that that I am jealous.
I'm even jealous of people that I know that I shouldn't be.
Jealous of people that have exactly what I do; except when I see them with it, it seems different... better.

I'm not saying that I wish I had someone's hair, or that I really wanted that person's shirt.
Its not like that.
Its so much more.


But I'm happy where I stand right now. I have wonderful friends and a great family. School is alright and my thoughts... well, my thoughts are a little scattered right now, but all they need is a little organization. I can do that, right?

Right.




*This too shall pass.*