TALK TO ME!

please.
If you have something today then just say it.
...to me.

Yell at me, scream at me... tell me that I've disappointed you in the worst way possible and it's all my fault.
Tell me what you're thinking and telling everyone else "behind closed doors."
I want to hear it all.
I don't know what to do anymore because I feel like all those doors of you and me have somehow, for whatever reason, been slammed and locked, at least for the time being.

You know that I don't like hearing things from other people... and I am. Believe it or not, I am.
I know what you're thinking and thats fine... think it.
It's all my fault and you've done all you can.
It's okay if that's what you think, just tell me what you want me to do.
I'm lost in our situation right now; I don't know where to go.

And tell me I'm being horribly hypocritical when I say all this through text. I am. I know that, but you're unreachable right now and I'm ready to talk. I've been ready, but I think for the beginning of it, I didn't even know there was anything to talk about.

This has happened before? When?
As far as I knew, you were always the one I turned to when I needed anything. You still are, I just haven't needed anything for a while because my life seems to work itself out lately. I'm not saying that I only turn to you when I need something, because I thought we had an unspoken agreement... you trust me and I trust you. We tell each other everything because that's just how we are. I dont judge and you dont judge.

We laugh and we cry... I don't cry with anyone else... and we hug and we fit so well and we talk and we go for drives and we trust. We love.

I miss you.
and I know I've said that and your response is vague and anything but heartfelt. "Miss you too but I have to go. ttyl"
That's not us, and right now I am not willing to say that that will EVER be us.

We are comfort and familiarity and love.

I miss you.
I guess that's all I've got right now because I don't know what else you want me to say.

I just miss you.