I care! I care, I care, I care!
I care so much. Despite what I may say, I do care more than you will ever know.
I care and it bothers me that it hurts you. And it hurts me when you are incapable of thinking of anyone but yourself. But I still care.

Sometimes I am confused because I care so much. There are two VERY opposing arguments and I want to be on both sides. I know which side I have to be on because I have loyalties and nothing will ever change that, but it is still hard.
My mind goes crazy. Nick is right... that girl went through more than ANYONE else. But she gave up. I want to slap her in the face and tell her to stick it out. I dont even know if she would be able to make it though. She really was garbage.
But why does she have to go out like this? I'm so fucking angry at her for that.
I stood up for her. I was on her side more than anyone else. Yes, I yelled at her and I made her cry... But I made sure that everyone else was being fair. Some people couldn't help but see red when they saw her. I tried SO hard to change that. "She's trying... she's just behind."
But then she has to go do something like this. I am so fucking angry at her for that.

Just leave. You gave up. Get the hell out of here.
I don't feel bad for you anymore. In fact, now I wish I yelled at you a little louder. I wish I made you cry harder. I regret ever telling you that you deserved to be here and that you could make it through. You do NOT deserve to be here. You probably never did. Your spot could have gone to someone else. Anyone would have been better than you.

YOU WERE TERRIBLE! Just because you needed much more attention than anyone else does not mean that anyone did anything wrong. Only you. You were the only one that did anything wrong and you did everything wrong. Honestly... When I asked you what your problem was, I wanted a real answer. I wanted to know why you were so incapable of doing anything right.
And now you are going to get one of my BEST friends in trouble for trying her hardest to prepare you to succeed here? How can you justify that?
I want to punch you in the face and tell you that I know for a fact that you don't understand how serious this is. This is ridiculous and she, of all people, does not deserve this bullshit.
Get out. Stop talking. Stop naming names. Stop bringing people into it. No one wants you around right now. The man who has to constantly escort you around? Yep... he's pretty damn sick of you, too. Drop the charges... you are getting no where by getting these people in trouble. You don't belong here so just get the hell out.
Forget everything I said before about caring. I do care, but I care about the people that matter. I don't care about you. I don't care about what happens to you or how your life ends up. I never want to hear about it. I never want to hear anything about you. I just care that you get out of our lives. Take whatever pride you have left and get the fuck out. You should be ashamed of yourself. She was only trying to help you... but you were helpless. and by the looks of things, I think that you will probably be helpless forever. From what I've seen, you have nothing going for you.
I don't even feel bad about that.
and usually I would feel bad... because I care.

I've never been so angry at someone that I couldn't express it to.

So... here's the deal...

I don't want to graduate with you even a little bit. But I have come to the final conclusion that I am going to. Let me explain...

Rumor has it that you do coke. That's not really my thing. Not only that, but not-so-rumor has it that you drink in the barracks. Not only do you drink in the barracks, but you steal the alcohol from the exchange and then you drink it in the barracks AND in class. Really? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my whole life. I am embarrassed for you.
I don't want to be associated with people like you. BUT, I understand that its not all of you. And hopefully, the select few that it is will be gone before I get back.
I just can't fathom how you could need something that badly.
I tell my swabs everyday how lucky they are to be here and how proud they should be of themselves for doing what they're doing. I have a feeling that your cadre told you the same thing. Maybe they didn't, and if that's the case, then shame on them. This is an incredible institution. I don't care what anyone says. Everywhere is going to have its ups and downs, but here you have the most spectacular people to ride the roller coaster with. People that have your back no matter what. People that will support you 100%, all the time. People that would do anything for you and anything with you ((except maybe blow a line)). People that are always thinking about what is best for you. These people are magnificent. I can't say that enough.
Not only that, but by graduating from here, you join an even bigger and more wonderful family. After that, there are THOUSANDS of people who would do anything for you... just because of the uniform you wear. Just because they know that they have a connection with you, even if you have never spoken to them before.
Why would you give that up for a quick high?

but that is only the select few. I have confidence that I will find people who I do want to graduate with. And in the off chance that that does not happen, I know that I have two of the best classes above and below me. I know that I can count on them for support and encouragement through the hard times. And I know that they are smart. I know that they make good decisions. and that is reason enough for me to continue with my plans.
Because I am doing something incredible. I am doing something that people will remember for their whole lives. You can't stop that. You almost did. Because I do not want to graduate with you. But hopefully I won't have to.
Because you don't deserve to be here tomorrow... much less in three years from now.

oink. oink. oink.

I definitely don't have swine flu, but I'm getting pretty sick of everyone being sick!

Focus on the positive, focus on the positive. These kids are starting to improve. Between coughing fits, they seem like they're starting to understand what it is all about.

Honor. Respect. Devotion to something greater than themselves.

...and that, ladies and gentlemen, is success.