Today is just one of those days. The sun never came out... which makes me feel like it never came up.
I feel like that too sometimes, sun. It's okay... we all have our days. Everyone has days where they just don't feel like shining, or even showing up at all.
Unforunately, I don't have that choice anymore. I have to show up, but I can't always shine.
People see through that so easily now. I don't know what to think of it. I don't know if people can see it because they know me well enough. Or maybe I'm just not making the best effort to hide it.
I just didn't feel like faking the smile today. There was nothing that was really bothering me, but I just wasn't happy... so I didn't act like I was.
I'm sorry. Thank you for asking though. Really.
I appreciate the fact that you care and you're not just asking because you feel like you have to. I'm sorry that I didn't give you more of an answer though. I don't like concerning people with my problems, so I'll usually just give you a short, but genuine, answer.
If I say "don't worry about me," I mean it. I'm not trying to get you to ask more questions... I mean that I'll be okay handling this one on my own. Which is usually the case. Nothing is tearing me apart or keeping me up at night.
If I need you, I'll tell you. I promise. Sometimes it is nice to talk, but sometimes it's nicer to stay quiet. Right now, it's nicer not to hear myself complain.
I don't want to sound like everyone else. And I don't want you to waste your time with my emotions.

I'll be fine... I'm just a little sleepy.

And I'm ready for the sun to come out.

Hey Loo? Remember that time that you got stung by something when you were out mowing the front yard and then your ankle blew up like a balloon with blisters? hahaha that was so gross, but I'm glad we went to the doctor's together.

Hey Beeb? Remember that time that you wore underwear on your head the first time that my first boyfriend came to the house? hahaha I'll never forget that.

Hey Dad? Remember that time that I got home from the Olive Garden with my friends for my birthday dinner and you wore my "Birthday Girl" tiara? hahaha my friends thought you were so funny.

Hey Mom? Remember that night that I called your cell phone when I got up to my room after we said goodnight, ands then RAN downstairs to your room because your phone was off? hahaha I mean seriously, how was I supposed to get a hold of you if I needed you in the middle of the night?! ;)

Hey Robin? Remember all those Monday nights that you and I made dinner together and then went to the gym? Remember that time that you beat me at volleyball? hahaha if those were the real rules, you'd be a pro.

Hey Tay? Remember that time we drove to Virginia and it felt like we were on route 13 forEVER! And the old people hung out in the pharmacy!! hahaha that trip was perfect.

Hey Megger? Remember that time that we played Monopoly ALL day when I was taking care of you cuz you were broken? hahaha Monopoly is not a game that you should play until someone wins.

Hey Sciac? Remember the matrix move into my lap?! hahaha that was one of the best nights ever.

Hey Katie? Remember the creepy man sitting on his porch when we were out walking late that night? hahaha we ran the rest of the way!

Hey Paigey? Remember the isolation booth at the bowling alley?! hahaha I'm glad that we'll always be one.

Hey Steve? Remember that time we drove to New York with your parents and mom yelled at us for fighting? hahaha I'm glad that despite everything we've been through, sometimes we can act like brother and sister. :)

Hey Elliot? Remember that time that we were fighting over what to listen to on the radio and we ended up hitting our heads WICKED hard? hahaha no one even knew!

Hey Chris? Remember that time that we almost dated? hahaha I'm glad that we decided to just go to the semi together and be best friends for the rest of forever.

Hey Spanish? Remember that time you sent me the pictures of you in a speedo? hahaha my favorite part is that it was just last week. Lovas never end.

Hey T-Man? Remember that time that your mom asked you if you could stay out all night, so you slept over my house? hahaha I loved how grossed out you were by your parents. I'm sorry that I couldnt stop laughing. :)

Hey Dan? Remember that time that I picked you up from your house at 1:00 in the morning and you came back to my house and we had a pillow fight? hahaha I'm glad that we were able to stay friends through everything that happened/didn't happen.

Hey Hodder? Remember that time that you chewed up some skittles and I ate them? hahaha I don't know if there are many other people that I would do that with.

Hey Kim? Remember that time that we thought that "she was gonna suspect" and then you pulled into the wrong driveway? hahaha that was my favorite time with a permanent smile.

Hey Coach? Remember when we decided that we're never going to "cut the cord?" hahaha Thank you for making me look forward to practice every day.

Hey Deej? Remember all the fun we had with Scottie and DJ? hahaha I've never looked forward to working out more than I did then.

Hey Cass? Remember how everytime I came to visit you at work, you already knew what I wanted? hahaha I never even stopped to think about how far into east bum Ashby was... you were worth it. :)

Hey Meg? Remember sparkle time? hahaha I'm so glad that we became friends through our sisters.

I remember.
I remember all the fun I had in high school and how much I loved my friends.
I'll never forget that.
But I also remember when I finally realized that all good things come to an end, and more often than not, there is something even better waiting to begin.
I know that it's time to make a difference in the world and stop worrying about everything changing. Things change. Memories stay.

If someone is drowning and I save their life, that is a change to their fate.

I'd say thats the best kind of change.

I'm ready to take on the world.
Memories stay.