Well... I'm not part of the problem this time.

But ironically I wish I was.




And I wish it with all my heart.

"I love how we have a special bond that no one will ever understand or ever EVER come close to breaking it."


...not even close...

We are best friends.... YOU are my best friend.

never even close.

I have no idea what to write.
There are so many things that i could write about, but no words are coming to me.
Everything seems so weird right now.
I have so many questions that i'm dying to ask, so many things that i'm dying to know, but i just cant make myself ask them.
I just keep telling myself that everything will be normal again soon, all my questions will be answered and there will be nothing to worry about anymore.
Now, dont get me wrong, i know that it will never be like that.
I know that i will always have unanswered questions and unheard thoughts. But for the comfort of it now, i'm telling myself that soon everything will make sense.
Soon....

Everything will make sense soon...

All the mistakes are not my fault.
In fact, most of them are not my fault.
Its just that everytime there's a mistake I feel that I'm the one to blame.
And I really don't know why.
Maybe its just because I feel bad blaming other people.
Yes, that must be it.

Bad day...

I need a hug.

I dont know...

...

I just need someone.

Someone that I can talk to.

Someone who won't criticize me, won't hold anything against me, and someone who I completely and utterly trust with all that I am.

Someone who I can just spill my heart out to and they would listen and care.

Someone who I feel completely comfortable around, with whom I feel that I can just be myself.

Someone who I could tell something to one day, and change my mind the next, and they wouldn't care. (Because I do that a lot.)

It'd be nice to have someone who I never get sick of and who I wouldnt mind being around for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

And someone with whom I could just sit with in silence, yet not be bored. Just content.


I need this person so bad.
But is there anyone out there like this?

I wonder...

I think its the house.

I simply never want to leave. It could be the people I suppose, but why every time? I'm usually with them the whole day, then when it comes time to leave I just never want to. It's not like that with any other people either.
None.
So what's different about these ones?

The odd thing is though, I never want to leave, but haven't once just stayed. I could. All I would have to say is "Can I stay over tonight?" I've been offered plenty of places to sleep... all of which are VERY comfortable, and I would be very happy sleeping there. I wonder why I havent.
weird...

Well, I suppose I'll just have to stay over sometime... sometime soon.

I love the house; I decided today that I would be comfortable and happy living there, and there are only a select few places like that for me. And I love the people; two of them are my very good friends.

So I suppose that's just it, I never want to leave because I enjoy it over there. Good atmosphere... good vibes. :)

Unfortuntaly though, tonight I'm back at my own house. Dont get me wrong... I absolutely adore my house, but I am here every night and it does get old.

Now that I'm home though, I suppose I'll retreat to my bedroom for the night.

Farewell.

"As the beauty of summer slowly despersed into the shadows of the autumn I think back upon all the memories of joy, all the memories of sadness, memories of sucess and defeat. This summer has been impossible to justify. Imposible to anylyze. I cant believe it is over, I cant believe once again the heat is moving on and the chill of the fall is slowly moving In. I hate it oh so much. where is my summer, oh where are my days of love beauty and joy?"

~an away message of Nic Robertson

perfectly said....

Second day of high school... school.... HIGH school.

Summer is officially over for another 10 months. No more summer for 10 whole months.

But this summer was amazing. I have no complaints.

So many memories of summer... I was talking to a good friend of mine the other night, and we were recounting the events of the summer, and at one point I was doubling over from laughter, and at another point I was almost in tears.

I can honestly say that this has been the best summer I can remember.

It would have absolutely sucked without one person. Towards the end of the school year and throughout the summer she grew to be one of my very best friends. Thank you, I dont know if i could have survived this summer without you.

I also met and became friends with a lot of other people this summer. Friends are wonderful... absolutely phenomenal.

It's tough because as the summer went on, I kept going to bed later and waking up later. And of course, thats what i got used to. Then all of the sudden I hear my alarm at 6:00. Having to actually function properly at 6:00 in the morning was horrible. And on top of all that, I was expected to be in a good mood! Now that is just unheard of! But I did it, and will continue for 178 more days. EEP.

Now it's time to go do homework... I'm going to have to get used to it... I suppose I will with time.

Adieu.