Forgiveness. Understanding. Loving. Missing.
I miss you. I forgive you. I don't understand you, and I will always love you.


You are so important to me. Everyone who knows me knows of you.
It's not right. It's too hard. People aren't made for each other. You weren't made for me, but I would be happy loving you forever.
We are so different. You are so good for me. A fresh perspective. Things aren't really so bad.
You screwed up. I screw up sometimes. Yours is usually worse. You get through it. We could get through it together. I would never give up on you... I never have.

I could look at you forever. You are so attractive to me. No one else. That doesn't make sense either. Let's live together. We don't agree on much. We would never run out of things to talk about.

I'm lost and you don't know the way. You've never known the way. You don't have a path or a road to follow.
I'm learning how to drive boats. Let's say, "screw the roads!" Land isn't free. Let's be free together on the ocean. No one would tell us where to go or what to think. No one would tell us that we weren't meant to be together. Because we're not meant to be together.

but I would never be lonely with you.

I feel like I've changed. I felt like this a lot last year, and then this summer I became me again... and now I'm losing it.
I'm not the same person that I used to be, and that's okay. But I feel like the best parts of me are fading. I loved who I was in high school. I had no problem making and keeping friends. I was so happy. I was spontaneous and it was usually me who would suggest doing something crazy just for the hell of it. I was the leader. I wasn't ever lonely. I never got sick of my friends. I appreciated everything that I had. There were nights that I just wanted to stay home to be with my family, but usually my "other" sisters would join. I kept myself busy and tried not to sweat the small stuff. I was exactly who I wanted to be.
But that's not me anymore. I wish it was. Now I worry... a lot. and I get very lonely. and I feel like I don't have the ability to make friends like I used to. I don't have anyone to talk to and when I get sad, I have a hard time getting happy again. No one is here to make me laugh, or get my mind off things. My cell phone is my best friend because it connects me to all of the most important people in my life. But they are happy. They are living in the moment. They don't worry too much and if they do, they talk about it to each other. And they can do that because they all live so close to one another. They are spontaneous and do what they want... and when they get sad, they easily forget about it. They take happy pictures every weekend because they are in love with life.
I feel like I'm fading. Fading away from who I was and fading out of their lives.

Everything happens for a reason, but right now I can't find reasons anywhere and winter is coming. Winter never was my season.

Falling Apart by Matt Nathanson

Maybe it's because I'm crazy, maybe it's because I just can't honestly tell you what I want.
It's never enough to stay still and hold you. To break loose and run the taste of you wild on my tongue.
Am I no good to you now?

We're spilling over. We're falling apart.
So I'm here safe, dear. A fiction in your arms.
So get me out and start me over. Forever changed... I should have told you I'm falling apart.
'Cause all I say... It doesn't matter anyway. I'm giving up so call my bluff because I just need to be reminded who I am.
I'm falling apart.
I'm giving up. I'm starting over. I wanna hold you.

So come on now... come on love.

I feel like I'm fading.
...fast.

Every weekend that goes by, I fade a little more and someone else gets brighter.

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. This absolutely can not happen.
I need you. I need you. I need you.

I can't live without you.

Really.